Every now and then, a little voice starts mumbling in the back of your head, insisting you must do something to relieve the boredom, blow off some steam, impress the cagers, reinforce the negative image of bikers everywhere, and in general, be a public nuisance. Well, bucko, it’s your lucky day! The following are step by step instructions for the perfect burnout.
Come on, ya know ya want to ...
- Make sure the front tire is dry and the pavement is clean and level.
- Put the bike into 2nd gear. Two out of three experts agree that use of 2nd (sometimes 3rd for the classic burn & go) reduces stress on the driveline. You'll get a longer, more controllable burn as an extra bonus.
- Grab the front brake (a two finger grip is recommended) & lock it, and push down on the frontend to get weight off the rear end.
- Lift your butt just slightly off the seat (not all, just a little), and keep your feet firmly planted in a flatfoot stance. If you don't, you'll end up sitting down hard and the bike will fishtail too much with unpredictable results.
- Roll the rpm's up to 4200-5000 & hold.
- FULL CLUTCH DUMP, no feathering, no hesitation, no reservation - just let go and hang on. Use two fingers here too so you can keep a good grip on the handlebar.
Here's where it get's interesting, and a bit of practice is in order. The bike may JUMP, dance, do a little jig, maybe even a little hippity hop .... If this happens, one of the following occurred:
(1) You didn't push down on the frontend.
(2) Your RPMs were a little low.
(3) The front brake was not locked.
(4) You didn't do a FULL clutch dump.
(5) All of the above
Here's where you fine tune your performance. Don't panic & pull in the clutch, just correct with higher RPMs and keep the brake locked. If you do panic, just pull in clutch, and all should be well once things stop moving. If you do get out of shape (oh, say, doing a 180 degree pivot swing & scaring the crap out of everyone within spitting distance) - just pull in clutch.... once you get stabilized, make like you meant to do that and try it again.
Now, assuming you got this far successfully, bring the RPMs up quickly after doing the clutch dump. Stabilize at about 5000 RPM for the initial burn - anything more and you get too much sliding around. The RPMs and your weight on seat control the stability of the burnout. Vary your RPMs while you're trying to stabilize - you'll just know when it feels right. Use the upper part of your thighs & your butt (still lightly touching the seat) to control what sliding you do get. If the bike is sliding just a bit, keep your RPMs steady and just push the bike over to center again. Too much sliding means too much RPMs, and you’ll want to feather the revs down a bit for better side to side control .
- Hold the burnout for approximately 3-6 seconds. You get bonus points for cackling and screaming like a banshee at this point. Rule of thumb is to get at least a coupla seconds of smoke, then let up. Resist the urge to keep the tire smoking till it pops (you know you want to) unless you’ve already made arrangements for a replacement. Even then you’ll want to keep enough tread on to make it to the shop, unless you LIKE pushing 800 pounds! Oh, and trying to get a bike with a shredded tire onto a trailer is not easy (don’t ask me how I know …).
EXTRA CREDIT
Instead of shutting down, why not finish off with a runout, assuming you’ve got clear road in front of you? Keep the revs up, put more weight on the seat, and gradually release the front brake. The trick here is to keep the bike straight. You WILL need to practice this part and you WILL go out of line some till you get your reflexes up to snuff. Be prepared to pull in clutch should you start getting sideways - even if you’re just a little off line, when the tire starts to grab, it will really snap.....